Hilarious Halloween Jokes

127+ Hilarious Halloween Jokes to Lift Your Spirits in 2026

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127+ Hilarious Halloween Jokes to Lift Your Spirits in 2026

Boo! đŸ‘» Did I scare you, or did you just trip over your pumpkin spice latte? 

Either way, it’s that magical time of year again — when ghosts giggle, witches cackle, and everyone’s out for a frightfully good laugh.

Whether you’re carving pumpkins, costume-hunting, or just scrolling for some wickedly funny jokes to share, you’ve landed in the right haunted house of humor. 

These Halloween jokes are packed with tricks, treats, and belly laughs that’ll lift your spirits (pun totally intended!). 

So grab your candy stash, summon your inner ghoul, and get ready to laugh your BOO-tiful face off! 🎃

Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids

Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids
  • Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!
  • What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  • Why did the skeleton skip the party? He had no body to go with.
  • What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
  • Why was the broom late? It swept in!
  • What’s a mummy’s favorite music? Wrap!
  • How do you fix a cracked jack-o’-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
  • What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound.
  • What room does a ghost avoid? The living room.
  • What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  • What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? I-scream!
  • Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
  • What did the ghost say to the bee? “Boo-bee!”
  • Why did Dracula get a job at the blood bank? For the experience.
  • What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!

Best Halloween Jokes for Adults

  • My costume didn’t win the contest — talk about a grave mistake!
  • I told my husband to dress up as a ghost, but he disappeared!
  • That skeleton joke was so bad, it rattled my bones.
  • I’m here for the boos — and maybe some candy.
  • Witch better have my candy!
  • Zombies can’t take hints — they’re just brain-dead.
  • I’m just creeping it real this Halloween.
  • Vampires are like my ex — they only show up at night.
  • I don’t mean to be corny
 but I’m sweet like candy corn.
  • Halloween calories don’t count — I checked with the witches.
  • My ghosted texts finally make sense tonight.
  • I put the “boo” in booty call.
  • Keep calm and spook on.
  • I told my broom we were going out — it was swept away!
  • Let’s carve out some fun!

Short Halloween Jokes for Instagram Captions

Short Halloween Jokes for Instagram Captions
  • Creep it real. đŸ‘»
  • Trick or treat yo’ self! 🍬
  • Too ghoul for school.
  • I’m fang-tastic tonight.
  • Ghouls just wanna have fun!
  • Resting witch face.
  • Witch, please!
  • If you’ve got it, haunt it.
  • Pumpkin spice and everything spooky.
  • You’ve got me under your spell.
  • Squad ghouls forever.
  • Boo-tiful chaos.
  • I can’t be tamed — I’m a night creature!
  • Fangs for the memories.
  • The ghostest with the mostest.

Scary but Funny Halloween Jokes

  • Why did the ghost get detention? He couldn’t stop booing!
  • What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room? The living room.
  • What’s Dracula’s least favorite meal? Stake.
  • What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair? The roller-ghoster!
  • How do you make a witch itch? Take away her “W”!
  • What did one vampire say to the other? “See you in vein.”
  • What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
  • Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figure.
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite toy? A dead-y bear.
  • How do monsters clean their houses? With a broom and gloom.
  • What kind of key opens a haunted house? A spoo-key!
  • Why did the ghost refuse dessert? He was already full of spirit.
  • What do skeletons say before dinner? Bone appĂ©tit!
  • What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
  • Why are vampires so unpopular? They’re a real pain in the neck!

Corny Halloween Dad Jokes

Corny Halloween Dad Jokes
  • What do you call two witches living together? Broommates!
  • Why do skeletons hate the cold? They don’t have any skin!
  • What did the ghost wear to the party? Boo-jeans!
  • How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
  • Why did the mummy go to school? To get unwrapped in history!
  • What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
  • Why did the zombie cross the road? To eat the chicken.
  • Why did Dracula become a vegetarian? Because biting necks was a pain!
  • What’s a witch’s favorite drink? Broom and tonic.
  • Why did the ghost go to therapy? He couldn’t get over his exorcisms.
  • How do you know if a vampire has a cold? He starts coffin!
  • Why do ghosts hate rain? It dampens their spirits.
  • What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone!
  • Why don’t witches like to ride elevators? They lift their spirits differently.
  • Why did the pumpkin sit alone? It was feeling hollow.

Hilarious Halloween One-Liners

Hilarious Halloween One-Liners
  • Boo-lieve in yourself!
  • Don’t be a scaredy-cat — own the night.
  • I’m just here for the candy and chaos.
  • Fright now, I’m unstoppable.
  • Ghosting everyone tonight!
  • Let’s eat, drink, and be scary.
  • Keep calm and pumpkin on.
  • You say witch like it’s a bad thing.
  • Feeling gourd-geous tonight.
  • Bone to be wild!
  • This Halloween, I’m un-boo-lievable.
  • Shake your boo-ty.
  • Something wickedly funny this way comes!
  • Happy Hauntings, friends!
  • Haunt mess, but make it fashion.

🎃 Conclusion

Halloween isn’t just for scares — it’s for side-splitting laughs too!

Whether you’re cracking up with friends, captioning your spooky photos, or handing out candy with flair, these Halloween jokes add the perfect blend of humor and haunt.

Pick your favorite, share the giggles, and let the spooky season roll with laughter louder than a ghost’s “BOO!”